Currently Reading The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales By Oliver Sacks see related

Ok so fran thank god is over.  He's a piece of shit.  So is rob.  I've realized I'm way too good for both of them.  I kinda knew that in the begining but I like to give everyone chances I guess.  But both of them fucked up so it's their dumbass fault.  I'm happy I'm not with either of them cus seriously fran *laughs* and rob *laughs even more* Both so stereotypical male and doesn't know how to think for themselves.  Good luck being a sheep in life.  So thats enough about people that don't need to be talked about.  I have gained so much respect and all this other stuff for myself.  Like I'm not that depressed kid I once was [so glad it's over].  It gives my hope that no matter how things go in life I'll manage and get by it and everything is for a reason and you learn and gain knowledge and experience.  I'd much rather go threw all the shit I've went thru than be some spoiled little miss perfect bitch. 

Anyway even though I feel like I'm a total bum right now since everyone is at college and well..... I'm just sleeping every single day.  I don't even work.  It's beat but I have tried and pretty much no one is hiring untill October.  So once October comes I'm so gonna be that first one appling every where.  Even if they are dumb ass places where I gotta see people I hate *cough* hot topic*cough* lol

Yup so that's basically my life as of right now~

Oh I went to see The Mars Volta Saturday night and they were FUCKING amazing <3 Dear god I am in love. hahahha

-mj

Currently Listening Music from Regions Beyond By Tiger Army see related

So I had to leave work on medical leave because my migraines have gotten so bad I can't even do shit I would normally do.  It sucks so much.  I can't work, watch tv, listen to music, play video games, etc just because they get so bad.  I even throw up sometimes.  I had to get a MRI done && now I have to go to the Neurologist but because he's so backed up I can't go untill March 19th is the first opening.  I'm on the cancelation list so when someone cancels they call me up saying I can come in.  So hopefully I'll go sooner than March.

Amanda is at my scko.  I'm fuckin happy!  It sucks Monica isn't there. But with the good people that comes fuckin dumb ass bitchy ass people that I can't stand.  But other than it's fine.  I don't think I'm taking my SATs even though they are Saturday.  I don't need them but I wanted to take them just incase but now I seriously don't give a shit.

Fran and I are doing amazing.  9 months, it will be 10 on Feb 6.  I'm so in love with this guy.  He's so good to me.  I mean yeah we do have our moments when we aren't exactly in heaven but we get over it and everything turns out good in the end.

Anyway my head is killing me so I'm going to go.  Peace.

-mj

Currently Listening We Are Pilots By Shiny Toy Guns see related

I haven't wrote in forever.  No one goes on so its ko. 

Scko is good.  I miss last year though.  Everyone sucks and I just hang out with Jenni most of the time.  I really hope Amanda&Monica come to Tawanka.

I have a job.  It's only seasonal wich is beat but oh well.  I'm hoping that they keep me but that chance is probably slim.  I like it and it pays so Im happy.

Fran and I have been going out for almost 7months now.  Holy shit!  I love this guy so much even if we do have problems here and there.

Had off today but I have work so it's kinda beat but at least I didn't have to wake up early and go through scko and than to work. 

I'm trying to get a kitten so bad.  You have no idea.

-mj

Currently Reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) By J. K. Rowling see related

It's 2AM.  I have nothing to do.  Grrr.  Well I haven't wrote in here in forever. 

I'm really getting upset about this whole I'm 18, moving on, last year of scko, don't have a job, don't even have a permit let alone a license, growing up kinda thing.  Also I miss my old friends.  I've been reading everyones xanga's who I used to talk to and adore and now I don't even talk to these people anymore.  Some of these people were the most amazing friends and I miss them dearly.  It's weird how you think "wow I'll never stop talking to these people" but here you do.  It's very sad.  Also I've noticed people my age should be hanging out and doing all this stuff but here I just sit in my house all the time and I barely do anything with my life.  I wonder if they're other teens out there like me that really don't go out to much.  Is it healthy?  I'm not really sure.  I just hate to think about it.

So Fran and I have been together for over 4 months.  I really do love him and I'm so happy and lucky and grateful to have this amazing man in my life.

Next scko year I have no idea what I'm doing.  I really want to go back to Tawanka only because I know it's going to be so much better and easier mentally but at the same time I know going back to Tawanka my education will not increase and right now I need that.  So I'm hoping I stick to the plan of me going to Tawanka and than the last semester going back to the High School.

Anyway I'm gonna go lay down and see if I can go to bed. 

-mj

Currently Listening Still Searching By Senses Fail see related

Scko has ended and I'm glad but not..  Like scko was something to do and that's what I liked but than again since it was the end of the year there was nothing to do so I didn't go.

But now since it's the summer.. and it's ending and for me it feels like it's just begining.  I feel like I've done absolutly nothing.. which makes me really depressed.  I've only hung out with my friends like 4 times this whole summer.  I haven't went away on vacation at all yet and I'm pissed.  I'm tired of hearing about everyone else going places with people and having amazing times while I just sit at home sleeping during the day and up all night.

I kinda hate myself cus it's my fault but than again I hate everyone else - specially certain people.

The only person who I have been seeing constantly is Fran. 

My mom's being a bitch tho so I probably won't get out or see him to much.

Anyway I'm tired of typing.

-mj